July 23rd, 2009

angry, racism

While there *are* disagreements I will politely have...

...and still be on speaking terms with people, telling me that protesting sexism of any sort is annoying, over-feminist, bitchybitchybloodybitchy nonsense is not one of them. Telling me that comic books don't hide their misogyny so it's stupid to whine about it is not one of them. Analogous comments about any other sort of bigotry, ditto.

Telling me in any way that people like me, or like my friends, should shut up and take it (or quit whining and do something about it) rather than making the poor dear speaker uncomfortable -- that's not the prelude to a reasoned disagreement. That's the cue for me to go from zero to towering rage in 5 seconds. And then distance the individual who made them, no matter how much I thought I liked them, no matter how much it may hurt.
And it doesn't matter whether or not I made the 'over-feminist' comment in the first place. In this case, I did not.

Now, if someone says "I don't see the point of that" or "that seems stupid to me", or even "why the hell did you link this to me?" I might have real, constructive disagreements with them. Even though they are WRONG :)
But anyone who dumps their bigotry on their interlocutor as objective truth can go do that to someone else. Because I refuse to call someone my friend if I cannot have respectful conversations with them about topics that matter to me.

Anyone who dislikes that, please feel free to unfriend me. Because anyone who dislikes that, you are not my friend.

PS. Since this is something of a spinoff from the whole RoF thing, I feel obliged to note that the not-so-hypothetical individual most directly concerned is not douglascohen or anyone else in any way linked to RoF.

PPS. I may now have a better understanding of some people I disagreed with, and still disagree with, over RaceFail; I may still see miscommunication where someone else sees utter lack of respect, but I respect their views, and I could be wrong.

ETA: And if you cannot make an argument without at least some attempt at logic and some citation of sources, however suspect, do not make that argument here. I am a liberal who respects respectful and sensible conservatives despite disagreeing with many of their premises; I am however very tired of wingnuts posting their own dubious beliefs as truth, then claiming first amendment violations when it's deleted. Any more of that will result in banning.