September 26th, 2009


Swore I'd never do this... (edited to add actual content)

I wanted to be more contentful in general. But, mrissa wrote a post that left me with only one thing to say:

Yes! This.

Actual content ETA: It occurs to me that I stop talking to people because of health, a lot. And that probably seems horribly unfriendly. It's really not, and I do appreciate pokes when I flake.

Mostly the reason is that I *know* when I go fuzzy I say stupid things that are in the vague vicinity of the things I mean but are not actually right, and I am too fuzzy to realize this. And I don't want to be hurtful, so it feels safer for other people if I keep more to myself, especially when a topic is potentially painful. I let my guard down on this recently and upset some people-who-don't-know-me on lj, and that reinforces the belief that I should stfu till my brain is working again.

But another part is that I have memory blanks that worsen when I'm not well, so, having decided to stfu till I'm up to dealing, I then forget there was something I was stfuing on. I have tried putting everything on a list, but then I just panic. Blah.