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11 January 2010 @ 05:00 pm
ETA: I have a draft!  Now I can find out whether it is a) a story and b) walking the non-fail tightrope effectively.
Apparently voicing my neuroses lets me actually write.  Yay!

ETA2: By "story" I mean "folklore paper from the 24th century", so the actual story is sort of implicit and stuff.  Which is part of why trying not to be faily is so much fun!

So I've been writing a very short story for... four months now.

It's not an easy story, and it's ar-gu-ab-ly hard SF, which means I've been doing a lot of projection-into-the-future based on my premise, without simplifying geopolitics too much as best I can manage.  But that's not what's slowing me down now.

Here's what's slowing me down: major am-I-Racefailing anxiety.

1) My narrator, or at least their voice, is pretty blind to major privilege isues.
2) It's post-apocalyptic I... guess... and the focus is shifted well away from Europe and N. Am.  Which could seem like blithely toppling "brown people nations" only.
2b) Can I possibly push through centuries of privilege to convey that in this world, Europe and N. Am. no longer really *matter*? 
3) My main "setting" (insofar as this thing has a setting exactly) is Quito.  So here I am positing catastrophic worldwide change and focusing on a non-white setting.  That I haven't been to and can't go to (couldn't breathe there).
4) I'm positing that a myth currently unique to a vulnerable group has spread (albeit changed) to become a dominant mythology worldwide.  Is this horrible cultural appropriation?

This is why I don't write SF.  I'm not interested in a future where the status quo remains unchanged, but changing things means engaging with cultures that aren't currently dominant means high risk of Utter Fail.


I'm not asking for reassurance per se -- while I would very much like to hear whether any of these are inherently awful/dealbreakers, I doubt anyone will convince me that any of them are risk-free :)  And I don't trust myself to know enough to avoid screwing up.
Which means, at this point, that I need to get other eyes on this story.  Which means I need to finish a draft.  Which means I need to write it.  Buh.

(PS: I just realized: happy birthdays! To januaryhat , ericmarin , and badger2305 ! Three in one day!)
Current Mood: anxiousanxious