shweta_narayan (shweta_narayan) wrote,

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Last Drink Bird Head

The head of the last Drink Bird is on display in the Smithsonian Museum of Implausible Biology, preserved for posterity - or perhaps just as a warning - behind eighteen layers of bulletproof glass.

The head has the room to itself, because of the press of visitors and the distracting scintillation of its plumage, but also because it would hardly be fair to other specimens to make them share this room. the head may be isolated now, but we must never forget that there is a reason we killed all the Drink Birds, burned the remains, irradiated the ashes, and sent them on the last Voyager probe to be disposed of well outside our solar system.

Some sad exemplars of the vile beast's effects on its victims (technically sufferers of Combibaeitophasia, but commonly termed the Drunken), have been collected into a charity volume by Professors Vandermeer and Vandermeer (2009)[1]; while this volume is of course intended for scholars of the Drink Bird phenomenon, it may also provide a grisly sort of entertainment for those who gain unhealthy pleasure in seeing the effect of debilitating conditions on innocuous human beings. Certainly the volume's "Drunken Writing", as it is termed, would be highly enjoyable if not for the terrible insight it gives us into the unfortunate writers. Clearly those Drunk by the Birds shall never be the same again.

This would of course be tragic no matter who was afflicted, but the situation is made even more dire by the number of well-known and highly regarded authors taken over -- as well as those of our own colleagues who had set out in all innocence to study the Drink Bird, only to reappear between the pages of this charity volume.


[1] Vandermeer, A. and Vandermeer, J. (Eds.). 2009. Last Drink Bird Head: Flash Fiction For Charity. Ambergris: Ministry of Whimsy.

Tags: eee i'm writing again!, last drink bird head, plug, whimsy
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